Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Meeting Leader group's script, decisions from the group conscience, as well as other notes that are produced in during the meetings.
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LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Post by LizzieW43 »

Meeting Leader workshop topics, and notes on discussion/answers (to 10/2023)

1: Two trolls share video feed at the beginning of the meeting.
A: Stay calm, enable waiting room, identify offenders and kick out
B: Suspend participant activities, haven't had trolls yet
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2: Two newcomers you haven't seen before are there from the beginning and they are sharing their video feed. Well into the meeting, one of them removes their shirt (still wearing undershirt) and the other one does the same a couple of minutes later.
A: Co-hosts are great. Message them and ask to turn off video feed. I forget it as a host.
B: Maybe message if shirts off from beginning, but if disrobing happened during the meeting, then kick to waiting room and co-host touch base with them there.
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3: Same as first one, but how do you handle the room?
A: Sorry about what happened, are you okay? Comfortable with moving on? Maybe raise hands for feelings. Offer people space to talk. Also after meeting to be available for outreach.
B: Address briefly with "apologise for the rough flight" and being available for outreach after the meeting.
C: I like to think about the traditions when deciding what to do. "Sorry, let's get back to our business of recovery".
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4: A person makes a racist share. The Meeting Handbook says the leader should intervene immediately. How do you react?
A: We try not to single out any specific group of people... please refrain from using language that may be conceived as racist...
B: Remind about traditions. Tradition 6: A GAA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the GAA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Tradition 10. Gaming Addicts Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the GAA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
C: Meeting should be safe space, everybody should feel welcome, please refrain from saying anything that other people may feel offensive.
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5: A person shows up to a meeting and you suspect that they are drunk or tipsy. How do you react?
A: Ask them to not share and spend the meeting listening.
B: Some tradition. Hard part when someone is not obviously drunk or tipsy. Keep things to first person and ask them not to curse.
C: Tricky, some medical conditions make people seem tipsy or high. Comes down to behaviour, if somebody has a long and rambling share, good to have a co-host to ask to interact with the person one on one. If they did cross-talking, then give a reminder.
D: Change chat to be only to hosts. Make them muted until it's their turn.
Question: Do we have issues about people attending while under the influence? Do we have guidelines for what we do in a situation like that?
A: Intoxicated people may go over time, they may be rambling. As long as they don't vomit on cam, it's fine. But if they are disruptive, unmuting and doing other disruptive things, I might be forced to kick them.
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6: A person shares extensively using the 'we' or the 'you' form
A: Normally, if it occurs once or twice, it's not much of a problem. However, extensively and if not a newcomer, I may step in verbally with a reminder to use the "I" statement.
B: The cases remind me that there are different types of interventions. Racist remark calls for damage control --> public mention. In this example, it can be a reminder or a direct message after the share, or cut them slack if they're a newcomer.
C: Depends on the situation, judgment call, not easy judgment call. Good that we're discussing and practising it.
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7: A person speaks directly about another person's share, but they do it while using the "I" statement
A: That is cross-sharing, it's a big no-no. I'm also guilty of this behaviour. Ought to be addressed immediately by the chair, in my opinion. Cross-talking can lead to people feeling unsafe in a meeting.
B: Had this discussion before. Definion of cross-talking is different. Not black and white. In different programs, the definition varies.
C: I see it quite a lot in meetings. It hasn't struck me as always problematic. It's given me a lot to think about.
LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Re: Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses 11/2023

Post by LizzieW43 »

Issues raised for discussion 12/11/2023
8. Newcomer sharing their fixed views about addiction in the after meeting. Being aggressive in expressing himself? How could I have handled this?
- If you can get a word in edgewise, which might not be possible! Ask them for evidence supporting their view. Refer them to some of the evidence we rely on to support our views. If aggressive, remind them of protocols.
- Agree to disagree but GAA has certain ideas about addiction, encourage them to explore this. I read the ML guidance, looking at “where is this person at in their recovery” and try and be mindful of this.
- I try to come from perspective of doing the least harm, so it depends who is in the room. If newcomers present, I might have to offer a counterpoint. If just older members, might not. If nasty language directed at someone, might have to address. But if no-one being harmed except themselves, might not feel obliged to drain my own battery. “Thanks for sharing! Moving on”.
- If discussion disruptive, limit on time and defer till later on.
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9. Fellow (relatively new) kept chatting and I was leading so I couldn’t engage. I didn’t know what to say – how to handle? They left afterwards.
- Perhaps message them back, saying I’m sorry I can’t chat right now, can we talk after the meeting? Or also hand off leading to someone else so you can talk?
- I have a greeter, so they would handle this. I think you handled it well. I’ve had people sign off quickly and I didn’t worry about it. Some people need to leave.
- We do the best we can, and I find it helpful to mind my own side of the street and know that I can’t mind theirs. Sometimes they will be upset/offended and we can’t alter that for them. We’re all sick and sometimes we (and they) don’t handle things well. Just do the best we can.
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10. Group conscience. Concern about a meeting leader expressed – decided that someone would talk to them about their commitment to leading. How to handle?
- What I’ve seen with concerns about a ML in another fellowship, someone elected who is stable to talk to them about how they are doing, and the issues raised (in a we form rather than an I form). In such a way that it’s obvious that it’s not an attack but concern about their wellbeing. Concern for recovery as well as leading. Discussion on recovery
- Tough one. Agree with above. Might be worth pointing out to consider the affect their behaviour might have on newcomers
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11. How to talk about people’s behaviours in meeting?
- Tried to make this about behaviour rather than the individual.
- How I felt following that person’s behaviour.
LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Re: Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Post by LizzieW43 »

Meeting Leader Workshop Issues raised for discussion 10/12/2023

12. Topic of newcomer who is a family member, but shares and how to handle this and where to direct them to?
Q Name of the organisation/website to direct them to – should we have this as part of the script so that leaders can refer to it and direct them to the right place in future meetings?
https://www.gamingaddictsanonymous.org/ ... d-friends/ tab has information on this
• gamer-anon.org is the website
To suggest putting these in the script for future leaders.

13. Family member came and didn’t hear or understand the information on not sharing. Can/should a greeter screen for family members? Is there something I could have done to avoid having to interrupt the share to say no, you can’t share?
The greeter can’t screen. If the meeting is open anyone is welcome, but if it’s closed you can ask if they are an addict and you don’t have to let them in if not.
Q The statement on EGGA script on Family members can’t share but are welcome to stay and ask questions after the meeting isn’t in the Meditation script. Does this need to be covered?
Fellow to raise the issue at Meditation group conscience for discussion.
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14. How do we handle family members asking questions after the meeting, in “coffee time”?
After the meeting, anything goes. If a family member turns up and they are guilt tripping people they should be challenged by someone, but if looking for information or to talk, that should be fine. The fellows that are present after the meeting should be considered – if there are newcomers, be aware how they may feel, if the family member is complaining or just asking for information? Might be a grey area needing to be taken case by case.
Step 12 carrying the message – is it appropriate to carry the message to parents? Maybe. But issue of control and what they (family members) are saying. If they are respecting the safety of the space, then fine. If members feel inclined to carry the message, then great, but no pressure. Up to whoever is hosting coffee time. Doesn’t have to be a commitment.
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15. Someone who is sharing mentions that they have been/are feeling suicidal. If I’m leading, I feel like moving on is ignoring their feelings. I don’t know what the right way to handle this is. If I don’t do anything with this situation, I feel like I am being negligent.
Many countries have suicide hotlines. But if someone is contemplating suicide, might suggest after the share to direct them to a helpline. It might be tough, but we’re not here to help prevent suicide, they need trained help. Could not make meeting all about suicide (violate 5th tradition) but could encourage them to seek help.
Perhaps an experienced member could go into a breakout room with them?
Would follow up after the meeting – WhatsApp message. Just to express concern, let them know we care, and check in with them. Used to try and do this when people had been upset.
Could put a message into chat to say you will contact them after the meeting.
Giving it over to higher power and hoping they get help.
Statement afterwards to say “If you are feeling suicidal, we’re with you. Please contact emergency services before you take any action” (?) to discuss this as a possible line for script and to get input.
I knew a fellow who committed suicide. Took me to realise it wasn’t my fault. I can’t blame myself as that then harms me also. It’s important that the person who finds out someone has committed suicide does not feel guilty/responsible. If someone wants to commit suicide nothing will stop them.
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Actions: posted in the Meeting Leaders Group
A newcomer who turns out to be a family member of an addict and not knowing where to direct them. Could we consider putting the link in the script for future leaders to know?

Someone who is sharing mentions that they have been/are feeling suicidal. It feels like just thanking them and moving on to the next share is ignoring their feelings.
We had a long interesting discussion of the many issues in leading meetings and the balance between meeting different needs. I can see this becoming part of work towards a policy or guidance in the future. But for now, could we work on a line to say after such shares which could be included in the script? One suggestion was “If you are feeling suicidal, we’re with you. Please contact suicide support/emergency services in your country before taking any action.”
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LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Re: Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Post by LizzieW43 »

Meeting Leader Workshop Issues raised for discussion 14/01/2024
No formal meeting held
LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Re: Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Post by LizzieW43 »

Meeting Leader Workshop Issues raised for discussion 10/03/2024

16. Word documents and hide ribbon

When sharing from Word, the name of the sharer can be seen on screen by all attending (including Trolls). Experience, Strength and Hope from new member, giving information on how to hide these details before sharing screen. To be shared with Meeting Leaders.

17. Use of taglines for meetings
Much discussion back and forth about this, reference to tradition 11 attraction not promotion? Issue for Group Conscience, but looking for Experience, Strength and Hope from fellows.

Traditions are technically suggestions, but if group is going contrary to traditions, it’s a big deal. Aside from traditions, is it making people feel unsafe? “Get your red-hot recovery” is fun, others can be disturbing. Does it sound like Spam/Popup ads? Understanding people’s triggers is important.

It’s a slippery slope. Same with ‘non-GAA material’ being posted in WhatsApp. We’re not a social group but a recovery group. Guidelines can be relaxed in WhatsApp but not to that extent, we’re still there for recovery rather than to fulfil social needs.

Outside issues avoided in GAA because these cause conflict. Washingtonians (early AA) had views on slavery and temperance, and the group became divided and broke up. That’s why we don’t have an opinion on outside issues (like games companies).

Just because Fellowship as a whole doesn’t have an opinion doesn’t mean we (as individuals) can’t have one. Tradition 1 – Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon GAA unity. Common welfare comes first. Moral stands take place elsewhere.

Different group consciences work in different ways. There is no one person or group of people dictating how things are. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—our group conscience as guided by power greater than ourselves. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
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LizzieW43
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 9:33 am

Re: Meeting Leader workshop case studies and responses

Post by LizzieW43 »

Meeting Leader workshop issues raised for discussion 19 May 2024
5 present

18 How to deal with trolls and people being inappropriate?
Checked with fellows about security settings and how these protect those attending.
Had a recap on how to remove people from meetings, via the Participants list, the profile photos and the Security settings.

19 Situation where leader gently admonished member for going against etiquette, and member private messaged racist abuse in return.
Suggestion that all Meeting Leaders consider adding something to their scripts saying:
“Please know that disruptive behavior and/or harassment of any sort is NOT tolerated. Please message the host/co-host if you experience any and we will take care of it immediately.”
Would setting chat to “Everyone” put off individuals from racist or other unacceptable comments, as they would be unable to send these in private messages?

20 Meeting attendee making comment indirectly (about not feeling safe to share as some cameras were off) which was taken personally by some attendees. How do you handle this?
The leader had realised that this would have affected the people with the cameras off, and decided to let attendees know that they didn’t need to feel bad about that. Issue of other side of the street – not to feel responsibility for someone else’s triggers.
Leader could have sent a private message to follow up.
If attendee doesn’t feel safe to share, perhaps they would like to type their share in the chat and the leader could read it out.

21 Meeting attendee wanted to talk about death as a topic. How to handle this?
Question of whether this had been a suicidal intention? Not expressed as such.
Fellows in that meeting had shared about feeling suicidal in the early days of recovery, so it was normalised, addressed directly, and with the message that it gets better.
Topic of suicidality in shares has come up before in this group. Suggestion that the leader let people know that the fellowship is there for them, and that fellow should be encouraged to contact emergency services appropriate to them before taking any action. Not all countries have similar contact numbers. Meeting Leaders workshop had suggested to other groups to adopt similar advice.
Issue about how to deal with suicidal intent. “We have no health professionals” caution – even if members are health professionals, that’s not why they are here. Can advise fellows to seek help, and be there for them, but have to respect their choices. In the same way that we can’t stop anyone else from gaming but we can be there for them. Sadly, addiction can be a terminal illness. Leaders and Fellows who have received outreach from suicidal fellows should reach out for support for themselves.
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